Main Series: Kitty BITE Back Episode 4: Gatherings With liMes; But, No Tequila-or friends (FML***)

Hey Peep-ooos! I hope that you were able to catch up on the Main Series: Kitty BITE Back. If not, you know how we do.... LET'S GET THIS!

So, we have been dissecting SAH's BITE Model of Authoritarian Control. If you need a visual aid HERE is the link to the BITE Model: https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model/ Please feel free to take a look at the model and familiarize yourself with the categories, components, and sub-components; high five**

The 2nd component of Behavioral Control as described in the BITE Model by SAH is: "Dictate where, how, and with whom the member lives and associates or isolates". WOWZAH. This one is going to be a doozey.

STORY TIME!

• I am going to give a few instances of when I was forced to live, associate, or isolate people in my time growing up in the cult. When I was in middle school, I wanted to have sleep overs with my friends. I wanted to go to their houses. (They had TVs, CDs, a radio, and other "means of devilish propaganda" that I was interested in. Like, damn, can't a 12 year old listen to some MCR and play a Nancy Drew PC game?!) This was most definitely not allowed. The only people anyone in the "church" (cult) was allowed to live with (even for a night) were other "approved people" in the "church" (cult). And here's the thing, not everyone in the "church" (cult) is approved to have gatherings and sleepovers. You have to be approved by the "pastor" in order to host a gathering of church people or have a sleep over. There are rules here: 1. You must be as spiritually strong as the "pastor" sees fit. If you are not spiritually strong enough, your time should be spent reading the bible, and going through the notes you are required to take during the services. 2. There cannot be "mixed company" at the gathering or sleepover unless the "pastor" is present. "Mixed company" refers to the mixing of the only 2 genders recognized by the "church" (cult)- women and men. If a girl wanted to stay at her friend's house but there would be boys or men there, even if the people wanting to hang out together are "deemed spiritually strong enough", they can't; because, there will be "mixed company" without the pastor present. The only exception to this rule is when the "pastor" designates a chaperone(s) for the gathering or hangout. BUT UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES CAN "MIXED COMPANY" HAVE A SLEEP OVER. 3. No one in the church, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, is allowed to have unsupervised hangouts (without a "pastor" appointed chaperone) with non-"church" (cult) members. They also are not allowed, under ANY CURCUMSTANCES, to have sleepovers with anyone who is not a "church" (cult) member. (This was extremely disappointing for me in the beginning because I had friends at school and wasn't allowed to hang out with them or stay at their house. Eventually after much begging to hang out with my friends outside of school, my mom caved and let me. This DID NOT go unnoticed or unpunished by the "pastor" and their henchmen. When I was 14, I made a friend in the cult. She was older than me (17, I think). She was contemplating leaving as she was married and had a child and they weren't interested in raising their son in the "church" (cult) because they had seen the devastating effects it had left on other children (i.e. corporal punishment, ETC). We were swimming in the summer at my mom's house (but not in bathing suits- in a "approved swimming attire [floor length-non slit denim skirt and a long sleeved solid heather grey cotton shirt {for women}]). She was telling me how she just didn't want to raise her son under the control of the "church" (cult) and that her husband was indifferent about the situation. Within a few weeks, she had taken her son and husband and left. Moved out of town. Her mom, sister, brother-in-law, 2 nieces, and multiple other family members stayed. (NOTE: the cult gets semi-incestuous as the years go on- as not many new members are added and the children who grow up in the cult together are only allowed to marry each other. So she was related to everyone in the church except me and my mom.) Years went by where she and her husband and son never came back. The "pastor" would pull immediate family (mom, sister, brother-in-law, and nieces) up to the alter and violently scream at them. Telling them that their own daughter, sister, ETC is to be ex-communicated, isolated, and banned from all family and church gatherings; as they "have the devil in them" and associating with them would cause the rest of the family to be put "spiritually at risk". Not once. Not twice. Not 50 times. I'd lost count of how many times that family was pulled to the front to be shamed into ex-communicating and isolating their family member; but, it was a near weekly occurrence. She was the only friend I had in the "church" (cult). Everyone else isolated me most of the time. (Because I was in public school, marching band, and was notoriously curious. These things eventually ended after being beat down so hard. But hey, could you blame me?)

Why, you ask, would someone want to dictate who their followers live with, associate with, and isolate? Simply put:

CONTROL MEMBERSHIP RETENTION LOST PREVENTION EGO GREED

They want to, and mostly succeed at, controlling who the members of the "church" (cult) live/associate with and isolate; because, any knowledge that isn't a direct product of the "pastor" and the elders of the "church" (cult) is blasphemy and if thought about, or worse- believed, will risk your place in heaven. In other words: they didn't want you to have access to information that didn't come directly from the authorities in the group; and, if you had friends who were outsiders or not "spiritually in-check", you could possibly have a... wait for it... A CRITICAL THINKING MOMENT. So what is the big deal with the obsession with heaven anyway? I can only speak on my own experiences; but, I do know that is wasn't longing of heaven that made me fearful of disobeying the "pastor"; it was the fear of 1. the "pastor" themselves and 2. the never-ending reminder of how my skin would melt off my body and my bones turn black from the fires of hell (but that the burning would never stop; only worsen as I spent more time there).

These are just a few insights to the many memories I have growing up in this religious cult. Something as simple as having a friend is controlled to the extent that families are being broken up; never to communicate again for fear of punishment from the "pastor" and god.

THIS IS HAPPENING IN YOUR CITY. IN YOUR NEIGHBOORHOOD. These people are out in your communities and smile and wave and you may even be coworkers with some of them. They try to reel you in with their promise of eternity in heaven; but, then treat you as if you are the sticky spot on the floor no one bothers to mop up; only to walk around as dust and dirt collect in it's place.

Do you know of anyone who is being discouraged to be friends with you or other people because you don't have the same beliefs as them? Has any individual or group tried to make you ex-communicate or isolate people because you don't subscribe to the same teachings as them? Are certain friends of your children not allowed to hang out with your family because you didn't fall for their *marvelous introduction* to how to get into their group or individual's good graces? Possibly. Or maybe not. However, if you or a loved one is in a situation where an individual or group is dictating who you/they can live with, associate with, and/or isolate, please get as far away as possible. Call the police, call me, reach out to someone not in the group for help, visit these resources that SAH and his Freedom of Mind organization have put together for people trying to leave destructive cults/groups.

HERE is SAH's list of resources that his organization, Freedom of Mind, has gathered.

https://freedomofmind.com/resource-links/

Please use this information and share it with those who need it. It could save a life.

Until all *ethical* friendships are valid and recognized, the moss will always stay green.

-Jezebel Freedom